yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
