please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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