I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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