: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
