so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
