i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
