I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
