I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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