can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
