His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
