I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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