My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize