I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
