i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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