margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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