Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
