I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
