You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
