God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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