How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
