ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
