How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My vagina is officially offended.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
