When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize