Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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