You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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