Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
