when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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