i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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