She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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