Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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