So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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