Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
