he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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