Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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