i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
