He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
