you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
