Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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