I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
