So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
