He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
