I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
