He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
