remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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