omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
