You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
