I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
