I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
whose parrot is this?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize