If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
