how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Text me some of your sweat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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