I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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