He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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