you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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