you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
