no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
