You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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