I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
