May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
