and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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