if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize