So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
