Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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