You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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