he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
