Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
