Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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