hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
