dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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