Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
two words: eviction party
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
