We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
