i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize