I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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