We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
